Two experienced dementia professionals have produced some advice for carers and relatives of people with dementia, ahead of the Christmas season.
The festive period is a time when families want to come together, but Colette Bonner, Dementia Policy Advisor for LV Group, and Tracey Gentry, Clinical Director, LV Group are keen to ensure that those with dementia are not distressed by well-meaning intentions, and their carers left upset.
Tracey commented: “We give advice to the relatives of those we look after at the St. Joseph’s Residential and Nursing Home dementia unit, but we wanted to extend this to those who might be caring for loved ones at home too. Christmas can lead to a great deal of stress, and for carers and the cared for, it can be a particularly difficult time.”
For those in a care home
If your loved one has dementia and is settled in a care home, Christmas Day itself may not be the best day to go to family since there is usually more noise, more people, flashing lights, and excited children, which can distress someone with dementia.
Boxing day may be quieter and more suited to the person’s needs. For some, but not all, the bustle of the day added to their unease at being taken out of a familiar environment, can lead to extreme anxiety. If you are in doubt, talk to the care home before making that decision.
For those being cared for at home
If you are caring for a loved one with dementia at home, communicate to all the family that it is important to tone down the environment and keep a routine. Those with dementia will pick up on a change in atmosphere and it will make them distressed.
Plan ahead and keep the day as normal as possible for them while still having fun.
Christmas decorations
Christmas decorations generally also need some extra thought. Colette, who received her Masters from Stirling University, recognised worldwide for its dementia design expertise, suggests that these should be introduced slowly so that the environment doesn’t change suddenly.
Christmas trees are better placed out of the way as those with dementia have poor spatial awareness, and it is advised not to move their favourite chair etc to accommodate it as that may cause confusion and distress. It is not recommended to use flashing lights, or decorations that might catch the sun or light and have constantly changing hues. She also suggests avoiding decorations that have eyes which stare, such as teddy bears or Santas, as these could cause distress and confusion.
Presents
Don’t be upset if your loved one with dementia doesn’t pay much attention to their presents. Depending on what stage they are with their dementia, some suggestions for useful gifts are: talking clocks, or dementia clocks, talking watches, touchy-feely comfort items such as fiddle blankets and muffs, giant puzzles avoiding small fiddly pieces, or an electronic cat which purrs when stroked, which can be comforting.
Family photograph albums are good, but each family should take into account their own loved one’s situation if considering nostalgia cards as some will trigger positive memories, but others, such as those relating to wartime, might not.
On Christmas Day
Finger foods and buffets might suit a person with dementia better than a sit-down meal, but if you do have a full dinner, research and practice shows it is helpful to use plates with a contrasting colour so that the person with dementia can easily see the food. Small ready cut up portions might be more manageable, along with soft foods that don’t present a choking hazard. Specialised handled spoons and forks might also help.
On the day, it is recommended to keep the environment calm and ensure there is a quiet room for the person with dementia to escape to if they need to avoid sensory overload. Background music might help. There is plenty of research to confirm music can bring back good memories and aid relaxation. If your loved one suffers with sun downing, where they become more agitated in the late afternoon and evening, then ensure you take this into account to avoid further anxiety.
And finally… Be flexible, don’t have too many expectations, and keep as much routine going as possible. Read their body language to prevent any crisis occurring and enjoy your time together.
Tracey commented: “We don’t want to be Christmas kill joys, but if people ignore the needs of their loved one with dementia, it can end up impacting everyone’s Christmas. These are simple tips that can make it enjoyable and relaxing for all the family.”
