Suicide is one of the most stigmatised topics when it comes to mental health. There are many myths and misconceptions that fuel the idea, ‘we don’t talk about suicide’.
However, if we’re not talking about it, how are we going to support those who experience thoughts of suicide or more importantly, support those wishing to act on them?
World Suicide Prevention Day is on 10th September, Mental Health and Wellbeing Trainer and Consultant, Jennifer Neill, will bust those myths, share my personal experience of suicide to hopefully help you start a conversation that could save a life.
Myth: People who are suicidal want to die
Fact: The majority of people who experience suicidal thoughts do not actually want to die; they just want the situation they’re in or the way they’re feeling to stop. The distinction may seem small, but it’s important. It’s why talking through other options at the right time is so vital.
For me, Freddie Mercury best described it in the song ‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ – “I don’t wanna die, I sometimes wish I’d never been born at all”. I have had numerous experiences of suicidal thoughts and looking back I know now I didn’t want to die, I just wanted relief. I also used to believe others would be better off without me. The kindness and support of friends and family helped me to see that wasn’t the case at all.
Myth: Asking someone about thoughts of suicide encourages them to act on them
Fact: The opposite is true. Evidence shows asking someone if there are experiencing suicidal thoughts could protect them. It creates a safe space and can give them permission to tell you how they feel and let them know they are not a burden.
When I first told my incredible sister I was planning to take my own life I didn’t start with ‘I want to die’. I started with cleaning advise. During that call she noticed I was distant and distracted. The way I spoke about myself and my (perceived lack of a) future prompted her to come to my house where we had an open conversation about my thoughts. Which leads me to my next myth.
Myth: You can’t tell when someone is contemplating suicidal
Fact: Rarely is it considered ‘out of the blue’ when someone decides to take their own life. Suicide is complex and how people act when they’re struggling to cope is different for everyone. Often there are signs someone might be going through a difficult time or having difficult thoughts. Common signs include but are not limited to:
- Talking about suicide — statements such as “I’m going to kill myself,” “I wish I were dead” or “I wish I hadn’t been born.”
- Getting the means to take your own life.
- Withdrawing from social contact/wanting to be left alone.
- Mood swings, such as being emotionally high one day and deeply discouraged the next.
- Feeling trapped or hopeless about a situation.
- Increasing use of alcohol or drugs.
- Changing normal routine, including eating or sleeping patterns.
- Doing risky or self-destructive things, such as using drugs or driving recklessly.
- Giving away belongings or getting affairs in order when there is no other logical explanation for doing this.
- Saying goodbye to people as if they won’t be seen again.
The final myth I will share is also my call to action…
Myth: If a person is serious about killing themselves then there’s nothing you can do
Fact: Often, the moments of actively wanting to die are temporary, even if someone has been feeling low or unable to cope for a long period of time. Getting the right support at the right time is so important. In a situation where someone is having suicidal thoughts, be patient, stay with them and just let them know you’re there.
Remember, if you think it’s an emergency or someone had tried to harm themselves – call 999.
In 2023 there were 5,579 suicides registered in England. Each week, approximately 115 people die by suicide in the United Kingdom. In the same year 1,645 fatalities were caused by road traffic accidents. The obvious answer to the question why is there such a difference between the two?
Preventative education
I am sure you have seen countless safe driving campaigns, road signs warning to slow down, car safety improvements designed to keep you safe behind the wheel. I could go on listing the ways in which you were taught to stay safe on the road. How many suicide training or education sessions have you been on, or even heard of? How many campaigns can you recall? Or posters? They are there but they are few. Unless you are in a profession that dictates the need or you have a family member or have been bereaved by suicide, it is unlikely you will have felt the need to educate yourself in such a way.
The need to support everyone’s mental health and wellbeing is greater than ever. Suicide is preventable through education and intervention. Training courses like Mental Health First Aid explore mental health, mental illness and suicide and equip you with the skills to support someone in need including when/where to signpost them.
How to get help and support
If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please reach out for support. Help can be found at:
- Jersey
- Guernsey and Alderney
- Isle of Man
In case of emergency or there is an immediate risk to life please call 999.
