Wellbeing Wednesday: Why it's good for men to talk

What was once known as November is now known as Movember, raising much needed awareness for men’s health, particularly mental health, prostate and testicular cancer.

From humble beginnings back in 2003, the Movember movement has grown to be a truly global one, inspiring support from over five million people worldwide, raising £700 million and funding over 1,200 projects in more than 20 countries. Here in the Channel Islands, to mark the start of Movember and to help raise awareness for Men’s Health generally, we caught up with Founder of Man Club Jersey, Matt Falla to learn more about his journey with the group.

All human beings need to be listened to and have their voices heard. Mental health is important at every stage of life, from childhood and adolescence through adulthood, both for men and women.

Statistics tell us that three times as many men as women die by suicide, and that men aged 40 to 49 have the highest suicide rates in the UK. The reasons for this difference between genders is complex. Some research suggests that society’s expectations and traditional gender roles play a role in why men are less likely to discuss or seek help for their mental health problems.

Research by a well known wellbeing clinic showed that 77% of men feel stress, anxiety or depression, but over 40% would never talk about it. However, this voicing of emotions and really feeling ‘listened to’ is crucial. Charity ‘Time to Change’ found that men are ‘far less likely to report their own experiences of mental health problems or discuss mental health problems with a professional.’

This is where Men’s Support Groups can play a vital role.

These groups function to provide men with a safe space to have their feelings heard. When men are in an environment that they deem to be emotionally safe, they are more likely to open up and more likely to express themselves in a way that they likely would not otherwise.

In the Channel Islands, a group such as this is Man Club, which offers ‘a trusted alternative as a place to speak your mind.’

What is Man Club?

Man Club is a confidential safe space for men to meet and talk about what is going on in their lives. Originally founded in Guernsey by Phil Surry, it is an informal group or network which offers support entirely without judgement.

Matt told us: “Looking back, my first Man Club was the first time I’d felt able to be authentic, to admit how I was feeling in a supportive space with people that understood. I realised that the root cause of my Mental Health challenges were less about events and more the denial and suppression of the emotions related to those events.

“Man Club provided a community cocoon that allowed me to accept and explore who I am. It really provided the foundation on which to build a better tomorrow.”

Understanding Mental Wellbeing

Mental wellbeing describes your mental state; how you are feeling and how well you can cope with day-to-day life. Our mental wellbeing is dynamic. We are all different. What affects someone else’s mental wellbeing won’t necessarily affect yours in the same way. We all have times when we have low mental wellbeing, where we feel stressed, upset or find it difficult to cope.

Common life events such as loss or bereavement, loneliness, relationship problems and issues at work can affect your mental wellbeing. Other times there is no clear reason for why we feel the way we do – which can be frustrating. Regardless, it can be helpful to remember that you deserve to feel good, and there are steps you can take to improve and maintain your mental wellbeing.

The importance of connecting with others

Connecting with others can help us to feel a greater sense of belonging and can help to challenge feelings of loneliness.

Make time for the people you love: keeping in regular contact with friends and family, whether it’s face-to-face, on the phone or by text can strengthen relationships.

“Man Club provided a community cocoon that allowed me to accept and explore who I am. It really provided the foundation on which to build a better tomorrow.”

Talk about how you feel: opening up to a trusted friend or family member can help you feel listened to and supported. Just acknowledging your feelings by saying them out loud can help.
Join a group: think of what you like to do, such as drawing, gardening or a sport and look for local groups. Meeting others with a shared interest can increase your confidence and build your support network.
Use peer support: if you’re finding things difficult, talking to people with similar feelings or experiences can help you feel accepted. This could be online or at a peer support group, such as Man Club.
Volunteer: Look into volunteering at a local school or hospice. Giving your time to those who need it can be extremely fulfilling and help you look at things from a different perspective.

If you’re looking for a supportive space with people that understand you, get in touch with Man Club who will always provide that listening ear.

Matt Falla is Managing Partner of Investment Management Evelyn Partners International.

Man Club Jersey is supported by Mind Jersey. Keep up-to-date with all Jersey Man Club meetings on the Man Club Facebook page, on LinkedIn or on Instagram.

For information on Man Club Guernsey and Alderney go to the Man Club Guernsey and Alderney Facebook page.

This article is not intended as a substitute for the medical advice of doctors. The reader should regularly consult a doctor in matters relating to their health and particularly with respect to any symptoms that may require diagnosis or medical attention.